WHAT THE CUT #37 – TEMPLE, CÉRÉMONIE ET COSMOS
– Crime ratings? – 42% increase since yesterday – Unemployment? – 42% increase since yesterday – Did you feed the cats? – Yes, with Kador pâté – It’s the pâté we adore – Runner? – Awesome Horse has won as you foretold! – Congratulations, Sir! – No, did the runner go to the mall? – Yes, yes, yes, yes, he’s bought you sliced bread – Gluten-free? – Of course! – Bet on it again next time – On gluten? – No, on Awesome Horse – Of course! – Did you take out the trash? – Yes but hobos have fumbled in it – Oooooh I HATE poors! How are 36th’s riots going? – Almost under control! 42 deads; 42 injured. – Views on my latest video? – 3 views Sir – Sorry? – Huh? 3 views Sir – Goddammit! Even Gerard gets more than 150views with his shitty videos! – ‘Sup! – 3 views?! – Did no one here bother watching my videos? – I did! I watched your vlog about ties but it was not really my… – Morron! Mine are vlogs about bow ties! – I will watch them Sir, I promise! – All those jackasses who makes hundreds, thousands, millions of views! Why all this hype around them when I’m a genius?! I need unlimited power – How do you plan to get it Sir? Well I’m gonna… … unplug the Internet – Well it’s not like there’s an actual device to unplug the Internet – But you can’t do that, I was watching Bob Lennon’s 2342th episode on Skyrim! ( French youtuber ) muhahahahahahah Random bar
In your ass – Wait, the ending is awesome! – Man I’m drunk Reflexes! – Wait… wait… – I don’t feel so good – Wait, wait… – Hello everybody! I’m the one responsible for this little PERMANENT interruption of your Internet I am General Derek Von Perchman and you’d known who I am, had you watched my videos! But it’s about time to fix this error All Internet is shut down. I will therefore be your only source of entertaining from this moment on. Now, I leave you with my vlog on easy opennings! Hey, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but easy opennings… ain’t that easy at all! – AAAAAAAAH! – Son of a bitch! I couldn’t even show you the end of the video! Fuck me! I think this openning is going to be waaaay too long Listen, Dave! Dave, are you listening to me? – Okay! – We have to put Internet back on. It’s an emergency!
– You want to call 911? – We’ve got to put a crew together, we need the bests! – Thinking of someone? – I’m thinking of Jostophe! His parents couldn’t chose between Joel and Christoph It’s the most beautiful man of the universe It’s a bruiser but he’s also sensitive! – It’s you who’s been singing all along? – We’ve got to put the Internet back on! – I quit. – Shit Jostophe, have you really forgotten everything? This time when we danced together under the snow in the Russia Special video! It doesn’t mean nothing to you anymore? – It was good ole time! – Yes! – But It’s way behind me now. Since I started following the path of Master Malou I am the one who speaks with the hummingbirds. It’s a big, big work to do on one’s self And this all-around connection could really get in the way of what I could become But I thought you’ve quit too since you never post any video… We have to save the Internet! – I’m sorry but as far as I’m concerned, that’s a no! I’ll pay you 100 000… – As far as I’m concerned, that’s a yes! – Where did you find 100 000 bucks? – Well I… Come on ladies, get the money falling, ha ha ha!!! I knew those Pole Dance lessons will serve some purpose I… know… people… of ressources…? I only join if my sister is in Fuck no! Not your fucking sister! I hate her! She’s fucking annoying and she’s going to fuck everything up and she’s fucking stupid! I hate her! I HATE HER!!!! Nothing personnal Alice, ok? – Don’t worry I’m used to it But why do you want do stop the General’s videos? Those are nice videos. – We can’t watch anything else, aside from his videos – No big deal, it’s just videos, nobody’s hurt He’s starting making product placements Doesn’t matter, as long as the videos are good He does it only for fame and money So what? It’s not cool to be famous and to make money? He started broadcasting make-up tutorials Oh my god! When do we start? And why is HE coming with us? He’s always wasted Because it’s Dave! Okay! The Internet device is guarded behind numerous corridors, doors and codes, cards, puzzles and lethal traps – Not good! We’ll have to sneak in! – I’m a professional… – Well, YOU’ll have to sneak in I’ll remotely guide you from my little control station Here, put this on! Whats this crap? If you press this button, you get in touch with me If you press this one, it displays a hologram of what you’re looking for For example, if you’re looking for a guinea fowl Wonderful! Oh, and this one… I don’t remember what it does And if I press the ze… – NO! DON’T YOU EVER TOUCH THE ZERO BUTTON And if you press here, it makes the sound of a donkey fucking a duck! And it can also be used as a ringtone! Anyway, I’m trailing off if I can say so – So! I’m gonna bash the skulls of all those motherfuckers in Yes, that’s “sneaking in” at its finnest Thanks – That was ironic Jostophe never learned sarcasm. It goes in by one ear and comes out the other one Physically impossible! Shut the fuck up! It’s an emergency! I saw a youtuber who didn’t have anyone to tell about her holidays in San Francisco! It’s showtime Getting inside the building should be easy – Who wants to see a challenge video in which we eat a chili pepper with my friends? Like me please Most of the General’s guard is in the central room with the device – Hey, watch me, I made a Draw my life, watch me please! – I was bullied at school, come on! – Look what I ate at lunch, it’s healthy, I’m super cool! Bust his balls with dynamite! For the Internet, Jostophe For the Internet Antoine For the Internet Dave What? For the Internet, Dave For the Internet Dave What? For Jostophe, Internet For Dave, Dave! For Dave, Jostophe For the Internet, Internet Antoine, Dave Jostophe What? For Dave, Jos… – What? – FOR THE INTERNET JOSTOPHE For the Internet Antoine For Dave, Internet For Jostophe, Dave Internet Antoine Shut up! Time’s up! He’s live broadcasting a top 8 on the best top 8s right now! All units, be advised, a group of faggots are trying to sneak in the General’s base Stop them at all costs! Right…right. Left! Fuck him up! Come one, fuck him up! When she spoke of puzzles, I never thought it would be crosswords Not now, Dave 6 letters, little deceitful Nazi How did he guess ? You’re in The device should be just before you I figured it was too easy Wow wow, speak for yourself, you were touching yourself all along Hey, it means “masturbate” Guys, I think we’re dead Well, well, well, who do we have here? Mister Mathieu Sommet! Well yes, errr, but not at all – But, that’s not you “You too much took dude”? – No, that’s the point, that’s him! ” They took drugs developers”? – Joueur du Grenier? “It’s while making anything one becomes anyone”? – Ré…Rémi Gaillard? “Why”? – Cyprien “Failure of rhymes” – LinksTheSun “That is what is going to happen” ! – Le Visiteur du Futur “Swag de poule”! – Norman. “You shall not pass!” – Gandalf?! “You’re a wizard Harry” – Hagrid?! “I understood you” ! – What? But you don’t get it at all, it’s total random bullshit, and I’m pretty sure that’s a quote from…General De Gaule No, you’re the one who doesn’t get it at all. You haven’t understood how it works You upload a video every 6 months… – Aaah See? You know who I am! To work it out on the Internet, you have to post a video each day, one a week at minimum Produce consumables! It’s not with your attitude that you’re going to be rich and famous My 100 000bucks…. – Don’t worry, don’t worry Make content fast, botched, doesn’t matter! As long as you’re omnipresent, as long as your image is in their heads And make product placements! You could put advertisments on your content, I don’t know Head&Shoulders, as far as your hair are concerned – Damn, I’ve known my share of assholes but assholes like you… My ass! That’s the way Internet is now, whether you like or not Well we don’t like it! Dave?! – I haven’t understood a thing you said but I liked the way Internet was before you shut it down. And we’ve been through so much shits to get here Antoine even had to solve crosswords – The answer was Hitler at 5 Down Yes and he was also an asshole! So you’re going to be cool with us and put the device back on because, fuck, I’m wasted and I don’t really know okay? – Okay! People… they like my videos! – You shut your fucking mouth! Your videos are crap and everybody knows it! – Maybe, but a least I make a fuckload of money! – I don’t do it for money! – Oh no! – I do it for a SHIT TON of money! – Oh yeah! 100 000 bucks little fella! Pfff, discussion is useless with you Kill them all – We’re getting forked! …No! Alice, do you read me? Aliiiice! Dammit, I knew we couldn’t count on your sister! What would Master Malou do in such a situation? Master Malou, Master Malou… “Impose strength towards Valium!” Have you got Valium on you? “DON’T YOU EVER TOUCH THE ZERO BUTTON!” I’m sorry Alice! Where the fuck are we? In space – I know, it sucks I couldn’t disagree – I’m gonna kill you all, you and all your followers No – And why so? – Because I’m the one with the general uniform so I’m in charge But how did you… -shhh shhh sh shh shhhhh So, I’m gonna go back there and plug Internet back in, okay? No! Don’t leave me here, I don’t even know where “here” is! In space – I know, but I don’t know where exactly In space – Shut the fuck up!!!! I want to go back too – Oh I think you’ve got plenty of “space” for yourself around here! – Seriously? – My humour has never been convincing, when I was a kid, I played at community theater…. – Let me go back! You fail to see what a wonderful thing Internet is! What you do is like taking a 500 dollars bill and wiping your ass with in! It works but… it’s a waste Okay, it sounded a little better in my head Don’t worry, I got what you meant It was a little chaotic! – Hahahaha yes And I worked on it – It shows! – Thanks – It definitly shows Thanks – No problem haha Okay, let’s say I go now, right? – WAIT How do we breath in space? No idea Where the fuck were you, It was really fucked up! Wow wow stop shooting, I’m in charge now! And as a great friend of mine once said: War… it fucking sucks! War, it fucking sucks man. All those weapons, they’re so useless Peace and love on society. And after all, we are all… Jeff! I knew it was not a good idea to go picknicking on paintball grounds without paint, and with real bullets! I can RIP in peace now Jeff… Jeff Jeeeeeeeff Jeff… Jeff It was crap anyway. – True dat. Wanna suck me? – Let’s go! The device! Aaaah it’s jammed! There has to be a trick – I know what should be done! Aaaaaaah !!! But who are you, what the fuck are you doing here? It’s jammed, we have to put liquid in it to lubricate. Anything! Good, I’m finally able to show you the ending of the video Most important of all, now you can work on What The Cut 37 What the what? Hi pack of rodent cunts! Did you miss me? NO! Tell me, what do you enjoy in life? Me, I love throwing exploding bananas on 5-year-olds I FEEL ALIVE, GODDAMMIT! My passion is Monopoly and I love doing… Shut your fucking mouth! 400 bucks for Boardwalk! You call that a passion!!! Anyway, some of you surely love martial arts and practice them on a regular basis Let me make you happy and let’s travel to Popular Republic of China In order to learn Kung-fu and practice new moves I’ve known my share of men practicing martial arts with dedication But those guys seems to take it balls deep! This more or less painful practice of Kung-Fu is named Which would make for a good metal band’s name (french translation) And this involves years of practice because they are true hardboiled eggs When a man is hit in the balls for the first time he says cheese and rice! Don’t miss any of Racist Jean-Damien’s imitations every Saturday at the Sonofabitch Theater I like… eating bananas, listen to drums all day long Jean-Damien Racist and his new show, critics already call “The Worst Show Ever” I eat fajitas, chili con carne! Racist Jean-Damien, purchase his DVD, 88 dollars only! Waaaoooh! BUY IT! The goal is to make one’s balls stronger or to make them go inside This ancestral skill has been taught for centuries by the Shaolin monks As we can see on those WONDERFUL images on which this man drags this big thing on the ground with his good ole balls And god knows they are good It must be useful for gardening Antoine can you mow the lawn please? – No problem Okay, I’m going But don’t try to make me believe that after this training, it doesn’t hurt anymore It’s obvious this man is dying in the inside. Seriously, one more hit and his head explodes! Well I’m not so sure for the training. I think I’ll convert back to Christianism and go back to my accountant school, okay? Right, okay? It’s a fucking load of selflessness and don’t believe they’re taking much pleasure out of it In opposition to some people Hit me in the balls and tell me you love me! God fucking damn it, it’s fucking unbelievable that whatever I stumble onto on the Internet There’s always its sexual version What’s the next stage? Babies? What are your main fantasies? Let’s go back to men hitting themselves in their good ole balls Because it’s true that armouring one’s balls can be useful in combat situation but in other circumstances it can be a burden Ladies, I’ve got callous balls The dedication of a lifetime It seems that to master this skill, one has to train it since its earliest childhood Come on Kevin, first Kung-fu lesson. Come on, stop crying little faggot, life’s a bitch! I can’t imagine the disappointment. Had I’ve been one of them, it would have been a lifelong trauma You heard about John’s behaviour last night? – Don’t tell me about it, he’s a ball-breaker And I can’t see how you can push children into hitting their genitals If you never want to be inflicted by STD Oh no! Fence yourself from Hepatit Turn your balls into chopped meat I don’t think this STD thing will talk to kids wearing adult diapers Point taken I’m not sure all of this really works. Worst case scenario, there’s gonna be collateral damages You’ll… never…take… our… virginity In the strangest cases, I wonder what would be produced by balls strong as steel Shit! A man who has been repeatedly hit in the balls since childhood should be resilient on all situations But there can sometimes be some credibility problems Don’t push me, I’m gonna mess you up! Okay? It sures is less respect-inducing that to appear and to say “I’m Men of the video are really dedicated, I myself discover some techniques I didn’t know For example, pinching one’s nice smooth tits to focus one’s power Give me all you have! – Jean-claude, Pedro, I’m counting on you two So much…power Those guys are so hardcore they sling a swing filled with bricks on their crotches And bricks, Fuck me, they’re not short on bricks! Okay John, you deconstruct this whole building and put everything against my balls, and fast! But I’ve got the ultimate question. I’ve you’re equipped with a vagina, is it the same technique to fence yourself against pain? Okay girls, training time Practice this training on a daily basis must be part of the strangest morning routine On the morning, I take my breakfest with a great bowl of cereals, I brush my teeths, a good pee, I destroy my balls with a big steel rod, because I’ve been a dirty naughty boy ! And I’m off for a good day of work ! No but that’s true, it seems to be really refreshing as we can tell by seeing the man at the end of the video : “Yes ! So nice !” To conclude, it works well, ha ha it’s crazy this… Wait, let me check something. Good, good… But I wonder how it works. Who could science the shit out of this? A clear and precise explanation You’re serious man? You haven’t called me in years and you think that just because you changed the jingle, all is forgiven ?! How do you think I got the money to live ? Well I had to prostitute myself ! Yes Sir ! Plus, with all this hype around science channels, my part is useless now I fucking hate them all ! VSauce, Science Friction, MinutePhys– Nonetheless, I remain utterly impressed by the performance of– I think it’s real crap. Ah! You say that because you’re jealous! Everyone knows you don’t have genitals ! We saw it well in… – No, no, I’ve got balls, take a look! What the fuck is this? I’m convinced that, apart for self-defense, there are a lot of upsides to the practice of this unusual activity : Antoine, I want children – Errr, I can’t, I’m sterile. – What? Bullshit! – Now I am. YES ! CHEMICAL CASTRATIONS ARE for chickens. I can already see the ads promoting the birth control quality of this somewhat unorthodox method : No balls, no children, more cash No balls, more cash I personnally respect those guys, all this determination, self-control and stamina is fascinating and we should all take example on those people who risk everything to reach their goal against all odds and hardships of this life, being in definitive true and admirable idealists Wow, this sentence was strangely long and as I’m on the Internet, I need my jump cute ratio. I-love-eating-my-dad’s-poop. To finish on this, we can wonder to what extent it can go, how strong can the material become? Oh fuck, an asteroid… – Oh shit we’re all gonna die ! Tell my wife and children, that I won’t be there for Christmas… Make way! I’ve been practicing for this my whole life… It’s Super Ballsax ! I thought it was but a legend…? In position. Come on! I’m waiting for you! We’re all fucked. And he still floats now in the eternal silence of those infinite spaces… Him and his good ole balls! Okay now let’s make a trip to this wonderful country that is Germany ! Germany is an European country which shares borders with Austri– Everyone knows what it is. EVERY-ONE. Before I get started, I’ve got a question for you. Do you like Nutella? ‘Cause I personally I find it disgusting, because for one thing, it looks like shit, and not shit from a healthy person ! And everytime I tell someone I don’t like Nutella, they’re like : It’s exactly what you sound like, motherfuckers ! Shit, how many times in my life have I heard: “My religion is Nutella !” Oh yeah? Then you need the Nutella priestess… Don’t even think about it! And that’s good because that’s the title of the second video What do you want me to tell you ? Yes, this thing exists. And I was nice to you because the original video lasts SEVEN MINUTES, 52 SECONDS. Because I can guarantee you that watching this shit on “repeat” is as boring as listening to the clap part of ‘Friends’ opening in “repeat” This video, which looks like religious ceremony, is brought to you by the german Carry Flag, whose profile picture is representative of her work : And sometimes, while in periods of doubts, I watch this kind of videos because I realize that if people are able to voluntarily come and watch a women dressed in banana/coconut bikini covered in Nutella singing OUT OF TUNE while getting her appendices eaten by a slave, clad in red who comes directly from the KLU KLUX KLAN, in front of the portrait of a man you don’t give a SINGLE shit about, all that in a SHITTY warehouse lit by a PEE-yellow light, Then you realize that whatever you do, you’ll always have an audience to like it. Yes I’m free! I can finally do what I can do best! Let’s go! Top 10 of the Best Pussies! Number 10: This one we all know inside out hahaha ! Number 9: So many requests about this one, I had to talk about it hahahaha ! Number 8: Pussycat, little pun! We like it, we love humor here ! Number 7: The sobriety, the classic, the famous, your mom’s– What really bothers me in those “performances” is that they always overdo There’ll come a time when the’ll go too far : “I cover myself with Nutella and then I sing an opera in German !” “I like painting with poop, with a paintbrush up my butt !” “I like going in your bedroom while you sleep, jerk on your faces, cumming on your nose” “while you’re sick, so you think it’s snot” “then I take your tissues, I eat them, poop them and then put them on top of my head !” Anyway, this person’s parents have to be among the most comprehensive people on Earth ! “Dad, when I grow up I want to be an artist !” “Oh, I see in you a little Van Gogh or Picasso!” 20 years later “Twenty Years Later” It’s worth noticing that the only person who seems to be aware and dares protest is : The dog. Shit! It’s really fucking dangerous to put a dog so close to food, even more when it serves you as clothes ! “Doggy, not the bananas! Not the bananas! THIS IS NOT A BANANA!!” “Oh! It’s you…” And what the fuck is this fucking shitty dance? Well here I do it like this, alone, because I have no friends, but it’s something like that…! And once more, the music pushes you to claw your ears off with more or less violence : “Before each show, I poop in my trombone.” Let’s also notice the presence of tiny tiny TINY multicolored fans on this awful cardboard table. Oh my children! I can say I’ve fucked my share of vents… Fans which are certainly supposed to carry the Nutella’s odor to the assistance. Like this odor was not already everywhere, due to… I don’t know… THE CHICK ALL COVERED IN NUTELLA? This is as close as you can get to assault! “When I go to the bathroom, I don’t flush, I let the door open and I put a fan to carry the smell in the whole house !” “Do you want to date?” “If you also want to score on meeting sites like Tinder, Meetic and such, “WE write YOUR profile description” “When someone kisses me, I can’t help but think about my DEAD grandmother.” “Incredible! It works!” “I feel the urge to blow my nose each time I perform a cunnilin–” “What are you waiting for? Go to www.thisnightigethard.gov” When you think about it, it’s a fucking waste of food. If only they… Wait wait, what’s he doing there? FUCK ME, great thing she was covered in Nutella! Imagine if that was not the case..? “No time to make toasts for breakfast?” “Take a pal who’s been doing sport,” “and it’s ready!” Anyway, this performance is still pretty cynical : Like when she sing the American anthem while this Norman look-alike (french youtuber) whose show I didn’t know was so strange… is carrying a tiny flag Would she be criticizing American imperialism and presence of palm oil in Nutella? Because if that’s the case that’s relevant. More than if it had been with organic food ! Allow me to come in with my bulgar ! But if she wanted to disgust us from Nutella , she kinda nailed it ! Even though it personnally makes me FUCKING HARD ! What about bananas? Yes it’s healthy but if it’s to use them like this… I’d personaly want to say I’m outraged. It reminds me of this man who grabs bananas, SPANKS them with his belt, ends up in underwear, shouting retarded noises : All of this watched by two young children and “Jean-Edouard Im-rich-and-I-know-it”. Then ends up hanging himself with fairy lights ! BUNCH OF FUCKING ASSHOLES! One of the most appalling experience I ever saw, and I’m not the only one : “Okay. I’d rather put chopsticks up my urethra.” These fucking bananas deserved it, evil creatures! I’ll sue your ass. But let’s go back to the brown lady, who’s throwing her bananas with violence and hatred ! “I wear biodegradable cloths and I must admit… it’s shit.” Let ‘s stop criticizing and let’s wonder which other performance mix sight, touch, sounds, odors and taste. And if you talk to me about your kindergarten performance in which you played a bush and you were so nervous you LITERALLY shat your pants, and you decided you would clean all up by eating it, WELL… It counts. … it counts. Let’s be admirative anyway before the originality we have before our eyes ! Because even if the “Nutella-Banana” association is a remembrance of a bad buttsex experience, it’s possible to make all of this entertaining and educationnal ! “Discover the pleasures of Nutella and banana, with Antoine and Nyo…” “Feels good right? – Feels really good…” “Oh, I like it – Yes, YES…” “It… gives me pleasure…” “Unexpected right?” “Daring !” “I-I like bananas… “No! Not in the mouth it’s gross!” And yes covering yourself in food is a fetish! Of course! Of course! Can you understand something here, Samuel ?! Welcome to the W.A.M Community, which stands for “Wet and Messy” ( french translation ) Really messy! Also known as “Sploshing” ! Never heard of a name which represented so well what it meant ! Possible exception being “deffecate”. It regroups people who are evidently sexually aroused when they are covered by various substances, like mud or food “Are you cooking at 1am? – Oh not at all, I just want to jerk off and go to sleep.” I’m up for a little snack right now! Some people might say that they waste food, that it’s not good ! “They waste food! That’s not good!” But maybe that’s their way of recycling : “Dad, I’m not hungry anymore, can I leave the table?” “Of course, but don’t forget that !” “If you can’t finish what’s in your plate,” “Don’t trash it all, don’t be shy” “Your food can always be your sexmate” “You won’t be friendzoned by your apple pie ! “Apple pie, another kind of desert. ALSO EXISTS IN SMALL PIES FOR CHILDREN !” But except for their little excentricity this SPLOSHERS don’t seem offensive… What a shitty name! – What about Youtuber? Well I’m not gonna rant on about those guys and show you hundreds of videos. Because I did and It was no piece of cake Let’s go back one last time to our chocolated german lady On her channel, you can find other wonderful videos, like one where she covers herself in honey Goddammit, had I been a bee, I would have been mad! All this work for that? Okay for you cough, I’m gonna prescribe 450 billions pounds of honey Some have to be really mad about all this wasted honey So, you’re missing a honey pot? We’re gonna help you get it back Whinnie. Were did you see it last? Well…erm….. Would a tail help me find honey? (tail is the same word as cock in french) I guarantee it Ultimately there’s a video on her channel in which she turns bananas on a really odd device Fuck, I know this look – It’s REVOLUTION TIME We are bananas and we FUCK YOU Tired of being mixed up with dicks Even in Mario Kart we’re a pain in the ass We are bananas, and we FUCK YOU Haters keep on rolling, we screw you Gangsta banana, what you gonna do? Fruits and vegetables, Revolución! We are bananas and we FUCK YOU FUCK YEAH! For fucking fuck sake, Fuck bananas, fuck Nutella, next video Okay the next person I’m going to talk about is a legend Of all the requests you made during all those years, this is the one that’s been the most requested And I hesitated for a long time before bringing it to you. Many of you know him and wanted me to talk about him for years. This is… FINALLY! This is a french man who became famous around Decembre 21st 2012, alleged date of the end of the world because of multiple interviews in the Bugarach village Village which should have been the only one to resist the world’s end according to many theories of the time Because it’s true that, all of us, we died! 100% deceased For those of you who don’t know him, he introduces himself really well Let me introduce myself, I’m Sylvain Pierre Durif AKA The Great Monarch Cosmic Christ The Green Man and Merlin the Wizard On the cosmic plan, my name is Orianna I embody the energy of the Green Man and the Great Monarch who was foretold by Nostradamus’ prophecies It’s the essence of the Cosmic Christ which is also knows as Merlin the Wizard All of those are only one single energy, Sylvanus, The Green Man, Merlin, Cosmic Christ are one and only character: me Nicolas? – Here – Samantha? – Here Sylvain Pierre Durif Orianna the Great Monarch the Green Man King of France Sylvanus Merlin the Wizard Cosmic Christ Master Yoda the White Lion Al Khidr the blooming Here Thibault ? It’s written in little letters on your ID, Sylvain, I can’t read So, what does the Great Monarch has to tell us? Before diving in the depths of this imaginative mind, I’ve got to psychologicaly prepare myself Okay I’m ready! At the age of 5, I saw snakes and monkeys dancing on my bed Then I was abducted by one of Virgin Mary’s spaceships The Reptilian civilization is a really old civilization on the cosmic plan Among them we can name personalities like Queen of England, Prince Charles, Georges H.W Bush who form a reptilian network called Illuminati When I was in Quebec, I met a Romanian in Montreal who told me “I know your name is Pierre” He told me “I have double-sight and I’ve been waiting for you for twenty years” “You have an important mission for the planet: guide humanity through the new dimension, which is the fifth one” “You should learn about the Atlantis because you have a link with Quetzacoatl, Toltec’s bird-snake god” “you are a birdman so you are a superhuman” On Aldebaran there are superhuman creation laboratories and I was told I was a superhuman myself mix of a birdman and a wolfman, meaning between the two rival clans that are vampires and werewolves (reference to a french skit) That’s really interesting Sylvain, I’m impressed but tell me, wouldn’t you be trying to create a cult? A cult? Of course n…n…n…n…n…not! Because this Green Man seems nice but self-appoint himself Great Monarch is a little bit arrogant What’s impressing is the confidence with which he blatters his bullshits without hesitation Hello, I’m Antoine Daniel, cosmic messenger of the silver stools AKA Jupiter’s douchebag, Gilbert the worm, or Gandalf the Grey I come to warn you that the Reptilian’s Illuminati Ships, like Barack Obama, Susan Boyle or Rafiki in The Lion King are coming to shoot “what’s in my bag” videos Holy shit! It’s such a fucking mess that I tried to Skype him to understand his words Hi Sylvain, can you tell us about Virgin Mary’s ships please? Concerning the ships, I did a research on Internet and found a link that talks about dual suns Wait a minute, someone else’s trying to join Hello mister Fidel, the name of my father is – Oh no! – the name of the father of Congo’s scientist Eddy Malou – Which made a link between this ship and Virgin Mary’s – Don’t speak all together Wait, there’s a third person who wants to join in. No! no! no! no! Not all at the same time please! And a fourth person is trying to join. Who’s that? Oh no!!! Never again! Well, even though the Great Monarch Sylvanus – He said “anus”, he said anus”! is a serious man, it doesn’t stop him, sometimes, from fooling around with little jokes She answered: “it’s just a collective hallucination” Would it be the sound of a spaceship? ROFL Shit! I’d give anything to see this man’s Draw my Life This is me! And this is my life! And be glad he just speaks about it in videos. Imagine he comes at your house to speak about Virgin Mary’s ships By the way, I don’t know who’s filming him but he lets himself do strange stuff, like this creepy zoom in as if he felt a bizarre fascination about the Great Monarch’s speech Oh you’re so beautiful Sylvain, what a nice forehead! I’ll be your Pinky you’ll be the Brain Understandable fascination when one knows how multiskilled is the man Did you know that he was also a bit musician, with his panpipes which he thinks have magical properties I play both panpipes and transverse flute, which have regenerative abilities. Why? Because the flute’s sound is the last sound of the highest divine awareness plan It sure is fucking more classy than recorder That’s a beautiful boat But it seems panpipes are not his only musical passion Can you explain this Sylvain? I don’t think so When I don’t talk about reptilians or Virgin Mary, I do Karaoke! Man of many skills, Sylvanus – Anus! – The great monarch is also computer scientist and he replaced Internet Why would you do that Sylvain? Why? I don’t recognize you! You were like a brother to me! I live outside society for 2 years now. I’m the inventor of El Vita, which is to replace Internet, a transparency communication system worth 150 millions euros. This belongs to mankind We have a millionaire before us. If I can say so – Potential Millionaire You gave it? – I stopped protecting it so it belongs to mankind You refused 150 millions euros to live outside society? Shit! this big Mastercard silence you just gave us Ah those poors, so vulgar all those people wearing clothes from malls On a serious note, this is a worthy initiative , even though it makes no sense To put his system El Vita to mankind’s service for free, It’s beautiful! It still doesn’t make sense And what would this new global Internet look like? Strange, when I google my symptoms they say I’m a Satanist Illuminati And among the Tons! Tons! Tons! of information he gives us, we learn something really horrifying All extraterrestrial and intraterrestrial civilizations are watching us in order to guide us for the best Good fucking god, if they’re watching they must be really glad about what they see Richard, with some good will I promise it will fit in Yes like this, Left, yes YEEEES!!!! I’m not going to go there, I’m telling you Nevertheless, I’ve got some issues with this kind of videos and how they’re made It’s normal and sane to laugh at Sylvain Durif. But there’s a huge gap between kindly laughing at his videos And going to his place and laugh at his face in video We’ve got a millionaire in front of us Hihihi he’s so ironic, rofl, lmfao, lol, :’) Seriously this is on the same level as shitty phone pranks Hi mister Durif, you must be a guitarist playing du Riff Though the Great Monarch is a little high… More like totally nuts! he doesn’t seem mean and is happy to live in his one personnal cozy world And I look forward to his next projects I project to shoot a movie about my life. I’m looking for a team to make a movie like Close Encounters, Avatar, Lord of the Rings Oh! My! GOD! I remember this night of December 1982 I thought it was only fooling around until Oh my god! Those are the Virgin Mary’s ships! followed by an unexpected encounter I’m Romanian – How can it be? We are in Montreal I know who you are! You are the Green Man ascending from the cosmic energy of the Great Monarch Follow me, you still have a lot to learn The more he told, the more I learned about myself I trained everyday to become the best You’re finally ready to go to Aldebaran “A Supreme Being” “In His Quest” “To Become” “Super Jesus” Sylvain Durif in LSD land. Children, it is not advised to do drugs – Well Except if it’s good one. Don’t hesitate. I myself sell good one, cheap – No Antoine, stop! – € 15 for LSD, it’s very cheap € 12 PER GRAM OF COCAINE ! IT’S CHEAP ! Eternal glory to the Great Monarch This 37th episode of What the Cut is now over, I hope you liked it Coming soon, the next 29 in which I’m going to have a lot to tell you and it will issue January the 29th The wait between two WTC episodes is longer and longer but the longer… the longer Take care and don’t forget to pray the Cosmic Christ, the Great Monarch. Happy new year 2016 and bye! I missed you