From Agnosticism to Catholicism: My Conversion Story (Part One)

g'day my name is Matt Fran and this is ascension presents over the next two videos I want to share with you how I went from being an agnostic to a Catholic it's great to have you here many of you have asked me in the comments section can I share my story with you and just tell you a little bit about how I became a Christian I thought I would do that but it's gonna be a long story so I thought I'd break it up over two videos I was raised in a Catholic family my mum was Catholic at least my dad wasn't my grandma was a super Catholic beautiful woman she was Maggie Harris she should often sit there with her leg up because she had sores on it you know and in front of her she'd have her rosary beads and her prayer book sort of murder mystery novels she was a lovely woman my mum would take us to Mass every week even though I didn't want to go it was boring you see boring I didn't like going sometimes I'd be over friends houses eaten fruit loops watching cartoons and you know mom would come to the door come on Matt we're going a mess and I thought that's not cool I'm not interested but okay I have to she'd take me to the doors in front of the church and she'd always say the same thing you know be a good boy don't be layout don't annoy your sister god bless my mum she had to put up with a lot with little likes of me anyway the priests were fine I had good experiences of the priests they were lovely the congregation were okay but don't you understand I didn't care I didn't care to be there sometimes I say I rejected the faith of my childhood I don't know if that's true though because in order to reject something don't you have to first own it first and I'm not sure I really did own the faith it was never my own I was given mixed messages I think some people would say things like it's very important to pray but then they never prayed some people said safe sex till marriage and then others said do what makes you happy was something we would say hell doesn't exist the church doesn't teach that anymore and then other faithful Catholics would say no hell does exist and you'll probably go there Matt no they didn't say that but you know there's a chance that I'll go there mixed messages wasn't that interested so I thought God probably doesn't exist you see the way I remember thinking about it is if you journal if you write in your journal you might feel better that's just cuz you've got your thoughts out well prayers sort of like that you're not you're not really sort of communicating with some deity you just feel better because you think that there's some sugar daddy up in the clouds right who's gonna give you a theme-park when you're dead just be a good boy that's how I saw it you understand I don't think it was true now I wasn't an atheist because an atheist well the word ate the term a theist haven't yet become a shorthand way of saying I'm more intelligent than you right so I'm like I'm agnostic I guess that sounds kind of weird and spirituals I'm agnostic I don't know if he's she hid whatever exists well I'll never forget one day a good friend of mine sat me down because she was going through a lot in her life family life wasn't great and she was actually contemplating ending her life I was 12 years old at the time and I was doing everything I could to tell her that she had some reason to live that she was lovely I told her I really liked her anyway and she'd go to high school next year which would be fun and then we get our driving license and then we'd graduated high school she could go to uni if she wanted to or she could just get a job maybe get married you know but every time I said something you know you'll get married you haven't you know she'd look at me and she'd say then what and I'd be like well then you have kids but then what eventually I said well you'll be you know then I mean eventually you'll die I mean we all we all die and she looked at me as if to say do you see my point and I saw her point it fell on me like a ton of bricks man it just knocked me for six as we say in Australia I had nothing to say to my friend that day nothing and it occurred to me that if atheism is true then this is a pretty bloody shabby existence we all live in we all walk around pretending that we have some deep meaning to our lives but there really is no meaning we distract ourselves walking towards the void that will soon engulf us now that's depressing now I'm not saying it's depressing therefore atheism mustn't be true maybe atheism is true and we just have to learn to accept that it's super depressing but I didn't have any good reasons to think God didn't exist don't you see they weren't great I would say things like well the only reason you're a Christian is you were raised a Christian it's the genetic fallacy that doesn't work you know or I'd say well you just believe in God because it makes you feel good all right well even if that's the point you know my blanket makes me feel good it doesn't mean it's not there I didn't have any good reasons you know I'm not saying there aren't sophisticated arguments for atheism I just haven't heard any nor was I putting any forth well when I was about 17 years old my mom came home from Mass and invited me to World Youth Day in Rome well Youth Day I since learned her was a gathering of the Pope and millions of young people but when she said Rome I wasn't sure what World Youth Day was or where Rome was I thought maybe this is a trick maybe Rome is some little obscure town in South Australia population 42 you know some like Rome where like she's like Italy you idiot oh good yes no I'd like to go I think you know well anyway I got packing and I was going around but I remember the day before leaving you know I said to my best mate in social studies class I think I said I'm not gone for Jesus or any of that rubbish I'm just going to have a good time meet some ladies little did I know that ladies didn't care about me but that's okay I had a good time anyway but that just goes to show I wasn't interested I didn't believe in Jesus or any of this stuff so I'm about to board this aeroplane right in Sydney to fly to Rome and what happened next was was pretty incredible and would change my life forever but for that you're gonna have to wait a week isn't that annoying this is what watching 24 and lost was like every single episode but unlike 24 and lost hopefully what I have to say will actually be somewhat satisfying because I think it's a pretty beautiful story thank you so much for tuning in to this week's episode please leave me a comment below if you want you can even write a question for me by writing hashtag ask Matt Fred and maybe I'll respond to you in an upcoming episode you can follow me on Twitter and Instagram if you want at Matt Fred and I'll be happy to respond to you there thank you so much for watching