Chris Tucker’s Momma Made Him Walk to Church | Netflix is a Joke

Posted By on August 20, 2019


– My Momma man, she doesn’t play man, my Momma made us go to church. Made us! We ain’t even seein’ yet. We still had to go to church. “Right, get up, you are goin’ to church!” “Momma, can’t the preacher
come here sometimes?” We’re always going to him. He could preach around
the kitchen table, Momma! “Get up, you are goin’
to church! Make me sick! “Makin’ me late!” She’s always talkin’
about we makin’ her late. And she ain’t dressed neither. (audience laughs) Walking around with her bra on, “You are makin’ me late! “I can’t get dressed,
foolin’ around with y’all!” (audience laughs) You can’t get dressed because
you ain’t dressed, Momma. We late too, we just a late family. “Makin’ me sick!” She be made at us every Sunday. She fix us a breakfast,
she would fix us lunch, she’d be madder though. We’d be so late, she
gotta eat it in the car. She come to the car with her food. And one time she brought it to the car, and she gave it to me to hold, but I didn’t hear what she said, and I thought she was givin’ it to me. And I ate my Momma breakfast. Man, I ain’t ever her this mad before. ‘Cause, all I heard was “Here!” I didn’t hear “Hold this.” I didn’t hear that! “Get that door, get the door! “Eat shit. You’re a son, that
we gotta go through this. “Here. “Hold that.” I got it, I was like (squeak). I thought Momma was mad at us. She said, “Here.” (audience laughs) (audience laughs) “My Momma fixed me coffee.” My brother was in the back seat, “Man, what the hell y’all doin’? “That’s Momma food!” “Shut up! “You can’t stand to see me have nothin’! (audience laughs) “Just like Grandmomma
said, craft in the bucket! “Don’t even have to
put a lid on it though. “Momma fixed this for me! “Man, ’cause you ain’t in the front seat.” All of a sudden my Momma
said, “Hand me my plate.” (audience laughs) “Shut up! “Momma, whachu say?” “I said hand me my plate!” “Momma, you mean the plate you gave me?” “No, the plate I told you to hold!” “Momma, you said here.” “I said, here, hold my plate!” “Momma, “Momma, “Momma, you still love me?” “What are you talkin’ about?” “Because sometimes I’ve been
doin’ stupid stuff Momma.” “I’d love you if you didn’t
sit up and eat my food! “You get out of this
car and walk to church. “You hear me? “You get out and you walk to church! “You got enough energy, get out of here!” (blows into mic) “Momma, I’m sorry!” “I left you the biscuit, Momma!” I had to walk all the way to church! I didn’t care, I was full. (swanky music)

Posted by Lewis Heart

This article has 100 comments

  1. Hes so funny. I think all parents end up having their kids eat their food. I know I have and we all get mad but we react differently lol I love relatable jokes because it makes it so much funnier

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  2. My parents were exactly like that except we ate after church. ALL OF US. So they would be hungry and grumpy. We would be hungry and grumpy and they would get mad at us! Needless to say we no longer go to church on a weekly basis

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  3. I can sympathize with Chris when it comes to going to church as a kid. When i was a kid you went to church every Sunday whether you wanted to or not! and having a mom and grandmothers that were totally devoted to idea of you going to church, man! there was no way you could get out of going!!

    Reply
  4. Damn they didn't get cooked nothing LMAO my childhood!! My parents get fast food(when it was actually good) and make us hot dogs in crock pot for all day eating!! Or I had to make pancakes!!

    Reply
  5. Tucker… Tell the world why you and Bill Clinton was on the Lolita Express on the same fucking day….
    . Huh….. You and Epstein's were boys huh….. How many little kids u violated Tucker…… ???? Oh ur shit is definitely coming out…….. Watch……. To the world…… Pay wat u own….. Blood…. suffering…. sacrifice….. Evil now u choose ur faith……. I'ma here to collect…… #fatherstrueson

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  6. ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿพ

    Reply
  7. ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ hand me my plate ๐Ÿง๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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  8. Where in the hell is Eddie Griffin Netflix comedy special Chris Tucker has a average bland unfunny feel to him not a fan of him get Eddie Griffin

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  9. Heโ€™s a great comedic actor and very entertaining to watch but I hate to say heโ€™s a bit over rated as a comedian. Like Kevin Hart itโ€™s not mostly what they say thatโ€™s funny it seems to be more the energy they give out and physical performance thatโ€™s funny but the best comedians can sit in one spot and talk and be funny. No disrespect Chris tucker is better than most but yeah I feel very over rated. Ainโ€™t no Eddie Murphy or Richard pryor

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  10. i will pay chris tucker, kevin hart, dave chappelle, and every other amazing comedian to stay at my house and tell me jokes forever

    Reply
  11. His momma sounds like a fuckin bitch…
    What did only she eat that heffer???
    Kick you out over some food???
    Make you walk too???

    Sounds like we brothers.

    Reply
  12. Id like to know what he did out on Epstein's Island his name is on the same flight manifest as Clinton's was he's such a fool for making his way back out in public now guys only dead 1week and he's making Netflix special's well i hope he gets what is going to definitely be coming to his ass fucking dirty Cho-moe's need to be put down already they have no rights as far as I'm concerned I'd give a dog rights b4 those cunts if i ever find out there are any near me I'll gladly go prison for the rest my life just for just 2 have 48hrs of slowly beating the life out of 1 tell I've felt he's worthy of death then leave him to expire slowly and painfully on his own they forfeited any life they after they've become the degenerates they are

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  13. I'd bite my son's hand off if he ate my breakfast ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ and he knows it, I would never hand him food unless he'd already eaten, he knows that too

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  14. Black people have such soul warming stories. What a fabulous perfect race. Most obvious, Gods only Children they are. We white experiments of Yakub need to really take notes,and try our best to be 1/8th as Godly.

    Reply
  15. most parents were worse back then because they were more crude, abusive and unevolved just like society. lots of messed up people from tackless, insensitive and low-brow parenting. it was common to view children as slaves or nuisance living in fear and children growing up with either low self esteem or become aggressive/abusive because they were treated as if they are a bother or inducing guilt as if they are an inconvenience to their parents from extreme right-wing authoritarian parents when that attitude or view is the antithesis of how parents should be since they are supposed to serve and nurture children as they are the next generation/future. authority figures demanded respect through force/intimidation and abuse whether they deserved it or not. questioning authority was also not okay back then either.

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  16. Its almost like the audience is not really there and they added the laughing later ๐Ÿ˜‚ he use to be alot better than this

    Reply
  17. WHY IS NETFLIX A JOKE? ITS BETTER TO SAY THAT OTHER STREAMING SERVICES ARE A JOKE BECAUSE YOU PAY A FORTUNE AND GET A SHITTY QUALITY

    Reply

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