Are Christians Missing Out? | Sex Before Marriage

Posted By on September 16, 2019


Hi beautiful people! So I’m super excited because I am going to continue my series ‘Are Christians Missing Out?’ Today I’m going to answer the question: are Christians missing out on having sex before marriage? I have so much to say about this topic. Literally I know that I’m going to have to make a second video on it sometime in the future, but today I’m going to answer: are Christians missing out on having sex before marriage? To break it down for you, since literally and even that’s like pretty broad, I’m going to answer why God created sex, why it seems like people always want to have it all the time, why God wants us to wait until marriage, and the symbolic representation behind having sex. So before I get into all that, we have to think about why humans make the choices and decisions that we make, it all goes back to our hearts. We all have these deep, deep desires within our hearts that need to be filled somehow. One of those desires that we have and one of those voids that we have is a gap of intimacy. Now to kind of understand that gap you have to know what intimacy means and I’ll read you the definition for that. I found this on Google, it was the first one that came up: intimacy is a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person. Now I didn’t write this, let me read it one more time just so you get it. A close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person. This definition perfectly sums up the kind of relationship that God desires to have with you, and with me, and with everyone on the planet. Unfortunately, many people make the mistake of trying to fill that gap in our hearts, the intimacy gap, with sex and they wonder why they still feel empty after they have sex. But the answer to that is because the only one who can fill that gap of intimacy in our hearts is the maker of our hearts. Jesus is way more than enough to fill that gap of intimacy in our hearts. And what’s so cool about Him is that when He fills you up with this love, it’s not going anywhere, He’s not going to leave you, you know that it’s going to be there to stay. So transitioning into why God created sex. God created sex to be between one man and one woman when they’re under the covenant or commitment of marriage. Now covenants are a Biblical idea that I’ll probably have to do another video about sometime, but it’s basically an old-fashioned term, term for commitment. He designed this earthly relationship of marriage to be the figurative representation of the kind of relationship He wants with all of us, all of us together, okay? He doesn’t want just a relationship with me and Him alone, in you and Him alone, but all of us together. What’s so cool about this is all of us together, the body of believers, are like a bride to Him and He is like our groom. God, as our groom, wants us to commit to Him, completely have our hearts devoted completely 100% to Him, and not to anything or anyone of this earth. He wants us to love Him wholeheartedly, be committed to Him wholeheartedly, and to be intimate with Him wholeheartedly. So I hope that makes sense, like we are the bride and He is the groom, and like together we are like a marriage. Like it’s not obviously like a literal marriage, like, but He gave us marriage in real life so that we can tangibly understand the way that He wants to have a relationship with us. So where does sex come in in all this? I’ve been talking a lot about marriage. You’re probably like what the heck, why are you talking about this? I just wanna know about sex. They’re all connected, so I knew I had to talk about marriage first and then talk about sex. So sex is when two people come together and become one. Like your bodies literally come together and become one, but it’s not only that, it’s also your souls coming together and becoming one. This is again symbolic of how we become Christians: Christ lives in us, we are together with Him, and we are one with Him. I didn’t just come up with this on my own, okay? This comes from 1st Corinthians chapter 6 which says, ‘He who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in spirit.’ Being one with Christ means that we are together. He is inside of us, we are committed to Him, and we have this intimate relationship with Him. So the big question is: are Christians missing out on having sex before marriage? And I absolutely do not think so. I believe that, like, we will have the most fulfilling and satisfying sex when we’re under the covenant or commitment of marriage with that one person who waited for us, just like how we waited for them. I don’t know about you, but I think it’s beautiful that, like, there’s one person out there who I’m waiting for and, you know, they’re waiting for me too. And like all of this is so symbolic of just how much Christ loves us, and to me like that makes it all the more worth it, that makes it more beautiful. One more time with the symbols, because I literally love them so much. We are waiting for that one person or preparing ourselves for that one person that we’re going to marry, just like how we, as the body of believers, are waiting for Christ to come back. He is our groom and we are the bride. That symbol to me is one of the most beautiful things in the entire Bible, and I will link some verses down below that you can read where it talks about it. So to close, I know that waiting until marriage to have sex is so different than what the world teaches and might seem super old-fashioned and boring or something, but I hope that this video could just help you a little bit to understand why God created it and why He wants us to wait until marriage, and I hope that it can help you to understand that nothing will fill that intimacy gap in your heart, other than the maker of your heart. Alright, so that is all for this video on sex. I’ll definitely be doing a video on purity soon, because I have a lot to say about that topic as well. I’m not sure exactly when I’m going to post that one, but it should be soon and if you haven’t seen part 1 to this series, you’ll be linked below. That one is on drinking and partying. That is all for me for right now, have a great day and know that you are so loved and so beautiful!

Posted by Lewis Heart

This article has 82 comments

  1. Great video ! Loved your points and the illustrations from scripture. I waited until my wedding night so it is possible haha ! We are definitely not missing out, sex will NEVER complete/fulfill us, like you said- 'The only one who can fill that gap in our hearts is the maker of it'… LOVE IT ! God is so good ! x

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  2. If you wait for marriage to have sex, you don't lose anything, but gain so much!

    Both my wife and I waited until we got married to have sex, out of obedience to God.

    Can I just say, it's a beautiful thing to know that the most intimate physical act of love my wife and I are capable of, was only shared with each other. I'll NEVER run into a guy who she shared that with. And she'll NEVER run in to a girl I shared that with.

    I frequently think about how blessed we and our marriage is now, all because we committed to wait.

    Waiting wasn't easy, but it was worth it.

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  3. Great video! I think that not waiting can compliant sex after marriage because if you've had multiple partners you could struggle with comparing.

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  4. Agree with you! Thank you so much! May God bless you and give you a true christian husband, who will love you, like Christ loves His church! ^^

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  5. This was a great video. I loved what you said about God being what we are connected with, and we should fill our hearts with God and not with people we don't have an intimate relationship with. I've never thought of it that way. This series is great πŸ™‚

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  6. great video, looking forward to more of these series. it was a great idea to talk about marriage and intimacy with Christ it's all entertwined!

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  7. This series is so outrageous…. ly awesome. I am really enjoying your insight and practical and straight forward teaching about this really important topic. πŸ˜€πŸ˜€ love it

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  8. I just wish I didn't feel shame for still being a virgin and put down because of it. God says it's right to wait, but it's the world that you have to face every day. From the moment you wake up, it's the world that looks you in the eyes and says "yeah, if you aren't getting any, you're a loser." Nothing could be farther from the truth according to the Bible… and it isn't even exclusive to sex either. Relationships in general. The longer I go without one, the less desirable I feel. It's the girl's bandwagoning affect of "oh, these girls don't want to go out with him, I guess I don't either. There must be something wrong with him." Great video anyway <3

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  9. great video! I was wondering if you could please make a video on how to deal with mean girls in a good way, a positive way because going to a public school when your Christian can be hard. lots of people like girls pick on me and it's hard to respond. I want to spread good kind words back please make a video to help me πŸ™‚ <3

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  10. +FarAwayDistance This is EXACTLY what I needed and answered so many of my own personal questions. Thank you so much for answering my (and I'm sure many others') request for a video on this topic. In American society it's so easy to forget what sex symbolizes and it's impact on us but you've reminded me of why it's so important to be intentional with our bodies! I knew that the relationship between husband and wife symbolized our relationship with Christ but I didn't fully get how, but you've put it into words that provided so much clarity for me. Sex isn't just a physical act, it's a spiritual one! Thank you for reminding me of this!

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  11. Hey! Could you do a video of how you balance Youtube, Social Media, and your relationship with God and daily life… Would love some advice

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  12. Hi beautiful πŸ™‹πŸ» I loved this video actually I have been studying this topic with my youth group, and it's really helpful to know about this, hopefully you can make a second part ❀️ God Bless youπŸ™πŸΌ

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  13. I guess if I could come up with a suggestion for another topic that I'd like to in this "Are Christians Missing Out?" series, it would be swearing. I mean, I'm not offended by swearing in the least bit and I'm not a guy who swears excessively and is trying to find a way out of doing it because I don't have this problem, but I've been told that it says somewhere in the Bible that it's wrong. Since I'm a voice actor, sometimes I'm given scripts where a character I'm offered (or have auditioned for and have received the role for) might use swear words or blaspheme God or Jesus, and I have to clarify to those that give me said scripts that I don't like to use swear words or to take the name of God or Jesus in vain and hope for script changes. Like I said, I don't struggle with swearing because I don't do it, but I imagine that there are people who do struggle with it and want to stop (whether they're Christian or not), and thought it would be interesting to see this topic covered (who knows, I may have a friend in the future who might have this problem and are looking for a solution to it).

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  14. The Illustrations were the icing on the cake. They made it so much easier to understand. I totally agree with you on this.

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  15. I've been watching your videos for a long while now and I'm just catching up on a few and I just want to say I love the messages you send the beliefs you express and the love you give to everyone of us you are such an inspiration keep living your life just the way you are keep improving I love you thank you so much you help me so much ❀️❀️❀️❀️

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  16. People always think it's embarrassing to be a virgin and to not have been with people but I think people who are intimate with a bunch of people embarrassing if that makes any sense

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  17. I love the internet sometimes. I was watching some stuff that wasn't edifying and so I typed in God and found your videos. everything I've watched so far is so good! I wish I could share the way you do! we are kindred spirits!

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  18. What if someone never finds a life partner? Are they simply expected to resist their sexual urges their whole lives????

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  19. As someone who has struggled from porn and masturbation, this is the area that I struggle the most. By God's power I"ve been delivered from porn addiction, but I still have temptations and wonder a lot why God created such a strong desire in men (males) if we can't masturbate, can't see porn and can't have sex outside of marriage. It's just very hard to understand although I want to obey him. I just feel like maybe I'm missing out in a world where sex is just literally emanating everywhere in media and environment.

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  20. Said perfectly!!! Great job! I'm so glad you share your gift of speaking about Christianity with us all! It's very helpful and uplifting!

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  21. To abstain until marriage will be well worth it!! Men and women who engage, in sexual intimacy, before marriage, a lot of times don't marry at all!! I know women whose SO just uses them!!

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  22. Imagine you were a traveler looking for a permanent home, a place to build a house on and live. And someone told you, "when you get to a place that you like, it's okay to roll out a sleeping bag and feel it out, but don't pitch a tent unless you are sure you want to stay there because you might not leave. And unless you are sure you want to stay I don't want you to get too comfortable in that place when there might be a better place that you would be happier at." You might believe them and say that sounds like pretty good advice. It isn't any different when it comes to sex before marriage (ie: love). Don't get it twisted. The purpose of marriage is to force you to evaluate your real feelings and see if you are in love. If not, don't pitch your tent πŸ˜‰

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  23. Couldn't have said it betterπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘

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  24. the most sad part of this is that a go to a catolic school and i had sexual education and the teach us the subject as we are going to have sex without marriage and with this age (14). I tell him about that sex before marriage isnt good and then he ignored me πŸ™

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  25. I get picked on for still being a virgin. My boyfriend is willing to wait but my friends pick on me about it all the time. πŸ™ also people accuse me of having sex when I don't.

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  26. I love your video! You gave a good description of how we are to have intimacy with Christ and with our spouse. You did mention you are waiting for your spouse like he is waiting for you. The one God has for you may not have waited. But he and you can wait together to have sex. This was the case with my husband and I. I would have missed out on someone special if I hadn't given him a chance because he had a past. God forgives and you two can do the right thing together. And for anyone reading this comment, it was worth the wait!

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  27. "Jesus is WAY MORE THAN ENOUGH to fill that gap of intimacy in our hearts"
    Girl thank you for this statement! I feel like this should be written on my jacket so all people on my university campus can see, and stop living lives of meaninglessness! There must be a revival for people, especially the young ones of our generation, to accept Jesus into their hearts and to stop chasing after the worthless things of this world. I realise I've only watched about 2 minutes of your video but I'm so inspired and encouraged by you πŸ’—πŸ’œ

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  28. This indeed comes as a huge respite from the constant fear of being surrounded with people inclined towards sex before marriage. And the way you explained it shows that there lies a very divine, character – defining trait when we keep ourselves special for one person. It also feels amazing when we can proudly be the good representatives of civil society and show our future kids that discipline goes a long way in achieving inner peace and happiness. I am a Hindu, and I stay in India, and I want to tell you, that you are really amazing. Love from India. πŸ™‚

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  29. All of these people saying " I just wish i didn't feel ashamed for being a virgin, or how friends will talk down to you." You guys have nooo idea how much worse it feels to not be a virgin and then later come to Christ. People over hype it, and think it helps fill a void inside, when in reality later it only makes you feel so guilty.

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  30. I'm a 29 and I'm a virgin I just got a boyfriend and all he wants to do is have sex. He keeps trying to talk me into it
    Waiting is not that easy at all I need prayers

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  31. I am a german christian girl and I really love your videos. Searched for a channel like yours so long!!!

    It is great to see how Jesus speaks through you and how much you love him!!!

    Keep doing videos! It really motivates to search Jesus again and again!

    So sad we cant talk to each other! Would be a blessing!

    Be blessed by our savior! 😊

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  32. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 (KJV) The Will of God is that we preserve ourselves from sexual immorality. Praise the Lord!

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  33. I'm from West Africa. I have never had any issue saying I'm a virgin. In my country most people don't care about you being a virgin. in fact if u are not you even tend to be disrespected.

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  34. Nice video ! Thank you , would you mind share your Facebook β€˜a contact.
    Looking forward to a Christian friend just like you

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  35. A lot of people think that having sex gives you some deeper understanding of yourself, or of life. It really doesn't, but sometimes married Christians are the worst at this. Christians get told that we're less-than for waiting until marriage, so when we get married, we start going, "Yes! Now I get to have sex and rub it in everyone's faces how GOOD it is when you wait like I did!" It becomes this way of winning back power and control from a culture that took it from us. But all that does is perpetuate the lie that sex=social status! The walk of Christ is about SACRIFICING power and control, not claiming it for ourselves. If we suffer for doing what's right, we can rejoice in that suffering.

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  36. Honestly coming from someone who has had sex before marriage (with random ppl) its not worth it. you feel bad and for me it damages you, im now not into that and want a relationship with someone who loves me for me not for my body.

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  37. As a Christian who didn’t wait. It is worth the wait. Wait, it’s my greatest regret I lost my virginity before I was saved.

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  38. Great video. I am almost 30 and have been married for the last 5 years. I didn't wait for my husband and neither did he and boyyyyy, let me tell you all, younger sisters and brothers, IT'S NOT WORTH IT! WAIT ON THE LORD. Because what the world DOESN'T tell you about sex before marriage is, for men, you will constantly be trying to recreate your first time (like getting high, you chase the first one and NEVER get it) and for women, it leaves you to connect sex to nothing special because of the lack of intimacy after sleeping with someone who is not your spouse so when women's do get married, it almost becomes a choir and less about intimacy. God created sex for marriage and even though the world says, try it before you buy it, my husband and I with countless others will tell you all, it's not worth the heartbreaks, the addictions, disease, and maybe even children out of wedlock. Spend time with Jesus, fall in love with Him and let Him make you whole in Him. Love is NOT a feeling, it's an action 1 Cor 13. Let Him teach you all real love. Y'all can do this through Christ. Say No and stand strong!

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  39. yea, just don't wait around expecting some guy to come whisk you away otherwise you'll wait your whole life and die a virgin … which isn't necessarily bad, it's just not what alot of people had in mind. Be very proactive in your pursuit for a husband and have realistic expectations about the struggles both of you will face in both of your shortcomings. The longer you wait to get married, the smaller the pool gets from which to pick or pursue.

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  40. Thank you so much for all of these videos! They are very encouraging and informative!

    As a Christian, do you think its fitting to date a guy who agrees to not have sex/ wait for me? Or someone whose philosophy is to not have sex before marriage at all?

    I stand for the latter, but I've seen other Christians do the former option

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  41. When I was younger I used to envy those whom I felt like not being called by God the way He is trying to call me or not being required as much as He requires from me, since they can do pretty much they want. Not just about sex, but on some other things as well. This made me feel like I was missing out. But when I grew older, I realized how I love Him so much, and I am not missing out. Neither am I afraid to miss out. I realized that obedience to God is much more valuable to me. I feel so comforted with your videos because sometimes modern society especially if you are surrounded by people who belong to it makes me feel so weird.

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  42. Christians are missing out if they have pre-marital sex! God created sex to be shared only in marriage. But that's just one aspect of life. Some people are born unable to have sex because of deformities or illness. Some people choose to remain unmarried for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven! Some people are unable to marry because they are emotionally wounded or psychologically damaged. Well it sounds terrible to be in the first group or the last group. I was married but lost my ability to have sex. It hurts me emotionally, but I can and want to serve God. I want to be with other believers and worship and study Scripture. I want to live for God. OK I'm a bit different because I have a wife and children. But now I am unable to fulfill my marital duty! It sucks but so be it. If Jesus tarries I'll be in Heaven relatively soon anyway where no one will be married forever!!

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  43. I was 47 before I got married and a virgin. That does not mean that I was pure though. I had a very disfunctional family and basically was unable to date and marry. I basically married because of foreign women who will marry anyone who is American and offers them a better way of living. I don't recommend it trust me. I believe God was calling me to remain unmarried for life. I wish now I had listened. But I can't undo the past. Besides I have three beautiful children and I love them so much. But I admit I am a lousy husband and father. Not abusive or neglectful but unemotional. I can't express affection. Then throw in ED and I am a loser in the world's eyes. But I don't care about the world! I am a beautiful person in Christ and want to serve God and be with his people. My wife wants to divorce me. I am truly sorry she feels that way, but I understand she wants more than I can give. It's truly sad…but I have God. If she wants to leave I will let her go. Not like I can ever remarry again. I want to serve God however I can with whatever time I have left.

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  44. Being a Virgin is a Beauty.
    Absolutely a Beautiful.
    Save the first experiences for the real Partner, Let him say he is really Lucky for life.
    Don't let the dirty world comes to you.
    Lie always lie – truth is always true.
    The dirty world says dirt is perfect rather than Freedom from Satan.
    It is Satan's idea to steal your Precious Life.
    And wants to make you same as the world.
    Trust this… you will face so many consequences and guilty in all your life, you will feel like you lost some good nature.
    Many youngs Are loosing their virginity not knowing the meaning of Life yet.
    You can be happy in yourself as Being a Virgin. If you don't then no matter how many people or your loved ones Comfort you, you will not Feel innocent. Will feel guilty.
    True is true.
    You live it.
    God bless Young Girls.
    And Brothers too.
    You are Special in God's Creation.
    Feel like a Prince (bro) and Princess (sis).

    May God protect Young ones.

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  45. Being a Virgin means Precious Girl/Boy. Like a Pearl.
    See them as a victorious in the young age. The danger Zone where the others lost their Power of victory and pure.

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  46. I am a 38 year old male. As a virgin I live a chaste and celibate life. During courting, women often expect sex at some point in the pre marriage relationship as evidence that men love them. These women are not ready for marriage. Men stay strong and ask God to keep you pure in heart. Real joy always follows obedience to Him

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  47. My virginity means a lot to me. Not because my worth is measured by it (its not) but because it's a reminder for me whenever I am tempted that if I can abstain from sex, I can abstain from the other temptations/ challenges in my life too.

    Reply

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